Whew! Things have been wild and crazy here lately! I was so happy to have my Dad and his wife visit over the Labor Day weekend. Spending time with my Dad is always at the top of my list. He and I have always been big pals who understand each other perfectly. A look....a glance and we know what the other is thinking. Growing up he was the best father a girl could have and the biggest part of my heart will always belong to him. We all had a fabulous weekend filled with good eats, shopping, and lots of laughter. The weather was beautiful and the nights were cool enough for bonfires that lasted up to the midnight hour. As always, the weekend went by much too fast and I was really upset when I said goodbye to my Dad. That empty feeling crept up on me when I watched the car pull away.
In other news, last week my clock stopped ticking.....you know the one. The one that stops ticking when a woman turns 35? I'm thrilled with my two children and am thankful for them everyday, but it's weird to think that I better hurry up if I want more. I'm not sure if I'm ready to say goodbye to having more babies. To compound matters, my baby, my youngest, aka the sweetest boy on the planet, had his first day of preschool yesterday. I don't cry easily, but I cried about that. A lot.
I didn't get the chance to be a stay at home mom with my daughter. However, I have spent nearly every waking moment with my son from the time he was born. I think most parents, or mothers, feel anxiety when sending their children to school, but with Jackson it is much worse than that. He has severe food allergies. I'm talking major. Real life and death stuff. We've never left him with anyone other than his grandparents based solely on the fact that he has so many food allergies. Because he is allergic to so many things there is no question that he will be exposed to something, at one point or another. Although he is aware of his allergies, he is only 3 years old. Scared out of my mind, I packed his list of allergies, his symptoms, and his epipen and took him to school. Before I left he said "I totally love you mom." It was almost impossible to say goodbye. Let's just say it was a good thing I had cried it all out in the days before. I was able to keep it together as I left. I didn't know what to do with my time alone so I shampooed the carpet. I was way early picking him up from school and as I peeked through the classroom window I felt a huge sense of relief when I saw that he was okay. And then I realized that I would have to do it all over again. That's when I realized that I'm no good at saying goodbye.
Last week Tina from Life in the Slow Lane at Squirrel Head Manor was sweet enough to give me the Life Is Good Award. I adore Tina and her blog and definitely agree with her that Life is Good.......otherwise it wouldn't be so hard to say goodbye! I was supposed to answer ten questions about myself and pass it on, but I'm feeling rebellious so I decided to break the rules and share this post instead. I know Tina won't mind at all:)
Wow, that is scary...I would have had a hard time too. This raising kid stuff sure isn't easy. Giving me way too many wrinkles. We'll make it, girl :)
ReplyDeleteBonfires that lasted up to midnight - sounds like a perfect way to spend an evening. Letting kids go definitely is tough. I'm not sure it gets any easier either. I cried all the way home after dropping my daughter off for college.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel--my baby just started all-day kindergarten. After 15 years of having kids home with me all day, it's a really strange feeling having a quiet house.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine having to say goodbye to my child and to entrust him/her to someone else! Must be so hard. I'll be thinking about you guys <3
ReplyDeleteKim, I know how you feel. My youngest son started preschool last week. I cried too. Our house is so quiet now during the week. I'm still trying to get used to it all. As for being away from your father, I know you feel about that too. We are a Military family and are stationed far, far, far away from my parents. So I can totally relate. Hang in there girl.
ReplyDeleteI remember crying while sending my kids off to school too. It's hard, isn't it!? And it's so heartwarming to see what a great relationship you have with your Dad. Great post Kim.
ReplyDeleteOh Kim, I am so with you. I had a really hard time when Ty started preschool, especially with his allergies. The stress of wondering if the people caring for him will be able to handle the idea of using an epi-pen is always in the back of my mind. Hang in there, it gets better!
ReplyDeleteSabrina is in 8th grade now and I STILL worry about her allergies in school. It never goes away but at least you are on top of it.
ReplyDeleteAnd Jackson looks so grown-up now - I can't believe how much he has changed.
it really is so hard to say goodbye, especially to close family members. i cried like a baby when i had to leave my parents, it feels so secure having them around.
ReplyDeleteyour little boy is such a sweet thing! i'm sorry that you have to deal with the allergies, hopefully he will be okay. i'll be crying right along with you next week when my daughter starts kindergarten
You made me cry, you. I completely understand...it takes a lot of bravery to be a mama! I'm glad you shared this post...I really enjoyed reading it =)
ReplyDeleteKim, thanks for sharing such a wonderful post. I don't have kids, but I can totally understand what an anxious time this must be for you. I adore my Dad too, and I love going up to Auckland to visit him, and always find it so hard to say goodbye.
ReplyDeleteSue
Beautiful post. So great you had such a nice time with your Dad, my Mom gets here is a few hours and will be here for almost two weeks. Hang in there with your son--I know it must be hard to let go as he grows.
ReplyDeleteKim, I totally relate on all off this. Anytime my father left after a visit I bawled like a baby. I miss him still. Still want babies? I loved all the growing stages with Tristan but now that he’s almost 22.I can’t imagine that again. You area young woman though and if you want more babies – go for it!
ReplyDeleteI hate goodbyes as well--but I am always just thankful for the time spent :-) You're dad looks like a lot of fun! I am very close with mine too. Daddy's girls are the best! :-)
ReplyDeleteIt get's easier when they are 18, then you are ready to tell them to get the bleep out! (kidding) (sorta)
ReplyDeleteYou have a good life when it's hard to say good-bye!That's life and love at its best. As for allergies - as someone who works with kids - we are so attuned to them these days, Epi-pens, no nuts in the theatre/classroom - it's a more aware time than in the days of yore.
ReplyDeleteOh, Kim! One of the twins had severe food allergies. From 2 months until about 5 when we found that he had out grown them. I hope your little guy out grows his alleries, too!
ReplyDelete~ingrid