Somewhere in the world a woman wakes up. She's middle-aged, right on the cusp of 50. Everything hurts. Her body, her mind, her whole world. Her youngest just graduated high school and is going out into the world. Her husband travels for work during the week. She wakes up alone. After years of child-rearing, and chaos, the house is quiet. The home and everything in it is old, bought when the kids were young, back when raising kids felt like it would last a lifetime. Even the dog, begged and pleaded for by kids and their precious little voices, was in fact old and frail. The woman's mom, her best friend, had passed years ago. The other grandparents hanging on, but ailing. Sometimes the woman had her own health struggles and felt like her body was betraying her.
The world was in a state the woman didn't recognize anymore. There were screens everywhere and a lot of talk about AI. She had become the age where she started to struggle with technology, turning her debit card every which way at the checkout, struggling to keep up with her iphone, bumbling about on her new Macbook. Once upon a time she watched a black and white TV, played kickball and foursquare with friends, ran wild in the streets, and drank from the garden hose. Back then the world felt safe and sound. The world was full of promise. Nowadays, it doesn't feel that way at all.
She doesn't recognize this new life. This new chapter. It feels like everything was coming to a close. An ending. The phase were you lose things. She worries over her kids flying the nest, she worries over losing her Dad. She worries about losing her own health. Losing the dog. Losing, losing, losing.
The woman sits alone in the empty house that feels way too big now. She tries to find the answers to big questions like, "why didn't anyone tell her the best time of her life was when she was in her 30's and the kids were little, both her parents were alive, and she had perfect health?" She wonders how this new phase of her life with grown children, aging parents, and an aching body can possibly beat those younger years when EVERYONE she loves was together. And, again, she turns on the TV, she inevitably goes on social media, and SHE DOES NOT RECOGNIZE THIS WORLD she lives in. She is nostalgic about the good 'ol days. She would happily drink water from the garden hose again.
She is old enough to know there is no point in dwelling. She knows there is nothing that can be done. She has to move forward. She tries to stay busy. She reads books. She goes for long car rides in the country. She visits family and friends. She tries her best to take in all the good times because she knows they're fleeting. She cherishes time with friends and family.
She does kitchen therapy. She takes a drive out into the country and buys blackberries from the farm, the same farm she used to take her kids to. She watches the other mothers with her kids picking blackberries. She hears the little boy say, " this is the best day ever" as he eats blackberries with the juice running down his chin. She remembers when her boy was little and said the same. She wants to tell the mom to cherish those days, but she doesn't wanna be one of those people, so she says nothing. She drives home with her blackberries listening to her new audiobook. It's quiet and peaceful, but it used to be loud with both kids in the backseat. She misses the noise, but she turns up the audiobook. She's trying.
When she gets home she washes the berries and starts making the pie crust. She has plenty of berries because no little hands have been gobbling them up. She kneads the dough and rolls it out. Her hands are busy, but her heart is hurting. The house is too quiet. The house and the dog groan with age. Years ago she made the same pie and the kids were loud, the kitchen was new, the dog was playing and barking. Laughter filled the air.
She bakes the pie and starts to work on the crumble topping. Again, her hands are busy working the butter, oats, and sugar. She thinks about how there were three policemen shot for no reason in her old hometown. On their lunch break, towards the back of a dead end road, they stopped to eat their lunch and a man with an assault rifle attacked them. She worries about the state of the world. The world her aging parents have to see. The one her kids have to live in, hopefully for many years. The world she doesn't recognize. The old dog chokes in her sleep and the woman snaps out of her deep thoughts. She looks up at the kitchen ceiling and sees the water damage from the tub upstairs. The light over the kitchen island makes a loud tink sound and the light goes out. The house creaks. The house is old.
Where did all years go? It feels as if they all went by ALL OF A SUDDEN, when her youngest crossed the stage on graduation. Everything changed then.
The woman puts the pie in the oven and she remembers her husband and youngest will be home soon. Her daughter is coming over for dinner. She is thankful for that, but one of the policemen has just died. She can enjoy a Blackberry Crumble Pie with her family tonight, but somewhere in her hometown a family cannot. It reminds her of all the suffering in the world. The women flashes to her biggest suffering of all, back when her mom was dying. She remembers when her mom whispered to her "Life is for the living, baby. Promise me you will live life to the fullest when I go." The woman remembers her promise. She pulls the most beautiful pie out of the oven and she whispers, "I'm trying my best, mom."
The house is full of laughter and noise when the woman serves the pie. Everyone is raving about how delicious it is and how the crumble topping really makes it. Someone loves it with vanilla ice cream and someone else loves it all on its own and for a short time all is as it once was and the woman is so grateful.
She remembers her hero, the one she called Gramps. She remembers something he used to say all the time back when she was a teenager. He'd tell her over and over "The key to life is learning how to adjust." Her teenage brain didn't understand it. She used to think it was so funny. But over the years she thinks of him often, wishing he was around to give advice, and she'd remember. She'd hear his big voice boom saying "the key to life is learning how to adjust" and she'd laugh. She was old enough to get it. She thinks of this now and she says to herself, "I have to learn how to adjust to this new normal. It will take time, but I have to keep trying."
And she cuts herself a slice of pie.
Every summer I like to chose a
cookbook or a special focus and do a summer cooking series. Some of the
summer series that I've done in the past are: popsicles; ice creams;
cookies; salads; and healthy recipes. One series I've always wanted to
do is a series of southern summer recipes. So, this summer I chose a
local cookbook from James Beard Nominee, Ouita Michel. Each week I will
be cooking recipes from Ouita's Just A Few Miles South Cookbook. *THIS BLACKBERRY CRUMBLE PIE IS #9 IN THE SOUTHERN SUMMER SERIES FROM JUST A FEW MILES SOUTH.
Blackberry Crumble Pie
Adapted from Just A Few Miles South
by Ouita Michel
Makes 1 9" pie
Crust
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon iodized salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) cold butter, cut into small pieces
1/2 teaspoon cider vinegar
2-1/2 - 4 tablespoons cold whole milk
Filling
1-3/4 pounds (about 6 cups) fresh blackberries, washed and drained
2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
1/3 cup light brown sugar, lightly packed
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 cup cornstarch
Crumble
2/3 cup old-fashioned oats
1/2 cup light brown sugar, lightly packed
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
pinch iodized salt
6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) frozen unsalted butter
For The Crust: Add flour and salt to a food processor and pulse several times to combine. Add butter and pulse until it is broken into very small pieces and the mixture resembles coarse meal. Add vinegar and then slowly pour in milk, pulsing until the dough comes together. Remove from the processor and knead on a floured surface several times. Pat into a disk, wrap in plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes before using. Roll out the pie crust, fit it into a 9" pie pan, and flute the edges. Chill until ready to fill.
For The Filling: In a large bowl, mix blackberries and lemon juice. In a small bowl, mix brown sugar, cinnamon, ginger, and cornstarch. Pour the sugar mixture over blackberries and mix well. Place the prepared crust on a parchment lined baking sheet. Mound the berry mixture in the crust and bake 30 minutes.
For the Crumble Topping: While the pie is baking, pulse oats in a food processor into a large crumb. Pour into a small bowl and combine with brown sugar, flour, and salt. Grate frozen butter into the oats mixture and toss together by hand. After the pie has baked 30 minutes, pull it from the oven and top evenly with the crumble. Reduce heat to 350F, return the pie to the oven, and continue baking another 30-35 minutes, checking often, until the berry filling bubbles through the topping and the crumble is crisp, golden brown, and cooked through.
Cool pie to room temperature, allowing the filling to set, before serving. Serve a slice as is, or with whipped cream and/or a scoop of vanilla ice cream.
Southern Summer Series: Just A Few Miles South
